Thursday, February 5, 2015

Covey Insights (v.1)

Covey Insights (v.1)

A blog called Zen Habits once interviewed Stephen Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and the interview is worth a few minutes of your day. I will be touching on some of the insights here on this blog, and connecting them to life in our 50s, especially life as a divorced and dating middle-ager.

Zen Habits:

For a lot of people your books are so full of mind-blowing and life-changing ideas that they get overwhelmed. They want to start, but don’t know how to. What would be the best first step they can take to make a positive change?


Listen to your conscience regarding something that you simply know you should do, then start small on it—make a promise and keep it. Then move forward and make a little larger promise and keep it. Eventually you’ll discover that your sense of honor will become greater than your moods, and that will give you a level of confidence and excitement that you can move to other areas where you feel you need to make improvements or give service.


Just let this soak in and reverberate throughout your mind, and perhaps your soul.

First step in self-help? Listen to your conscience. Observe what advice is not given. We are not told that the answer lies in diet, or exercise, or sleep. We are not advised to turn off our TVs or computers. We are not told to read more or rectify relationships gone wrong. Instead we are told to turn inward.

I’ve lived my life alternating between introvert and extrovert, between someone who can spend hours reading and thinking and someone who only feels fulfilled while doing. Turning inward to begin feels natural and seems right. And if we are going to turn inward, what better place to start than our conscience (or, I might add, our souls)?

How does this relate to dating?

The first promise too many divorced people make to themselves relates to finding a mate: dammit, the second this thing is final I’m gonna get on Match and start having fun! Yet for most of us, this approach leaves us unfulfilled and even more desperate. Perhaps Stephen Covey is on to something. Postpone that online dating subscription, or maybe take a break if you've already signed up. 

Turn inward. 

Consult your conscience.

Tap your soul.

Think deeply and quietly.

See where that leads.

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