Thursday, February 26, 2015



Ah, the Jim Morrison Days. How I look back on them fondly. It wasn’t just the behavior. It wasn’t just the fact that the booze, women, and bad food (pizza and cafeteria) were readily consumed. I had it going. I graduated near the top of my class. Despite my lifestyle, the extra weight looked good. I’m thin by nature, and so when you combine weight lifting plus a four-thousand calorie a day diet, let’s just say there still wasn’t much fat to be seen on the bod.

My college girlfriend is pictured above. No, this is not a picture from college. This is what she looks like TODAY. I can't believe it either. What the hell was I thinking? I should have just gotten down on my knee and proposed on our first date. Damn.

Monday, February 23, 2015

After the Fairy Tale Ends (part 5)

Life without Online Dating

Life without Online Dating

During the final, awful years of my marriage, I remained faithful to my Ex, and really had no desire to stray and sow my wild oats. It was all about the kids in my mind. However, once the marriage was officially over, I was eager to get “back in the game.” I had dated before, not having gotten married until the ripe old age of 32. It was fun, and I had no reason to believe it wouldn’t be fun again at age 49.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Dating in Your 50s is Like Dating People with PTSD

Dating in Your 50s is Like Dating People with PTSD

I remember when my Ex broke the news that she was filing for divorce and had no desire to try counseling, my first feeling was one of relief. It was over. No more would she be yelling and swearing at me, chasing me around the house from room to room. No more would I be fighting off tears as I drove home and be made to deal with her again. It was over. Finally. I would have stuck it out forever. For the kids’ sake. But I had been released from that prison. I had been delivered.

Monday, February 16, 2015

The Anti-Crack Date

The Anti-Crack Date

Many of you who have read this blog for any time will no doubt take exception to my relentless attacks on the “crack heads,” those in the dating world who seek teen-like exuberant highs from their mid-life love interests.

“Of course I want to feel that excitement, Lex! That’s why I got divorced. Because the marriage was same-old, same-old every damn day and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to feel vital and wanted and loved again!” And you know what it feels like to be loved and wanted, because, well, you already did this once back in your teens and twenties.

Ah hem.

My response is twofold.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Crazy Flag

The Crazy Flag

In an earlier post, I mentioned a woman I had been messaging with for more than four weeks, and unlike many of the other women with whom I had conversed via extended periods of emails and texts, this woman and I met, twice no less, and planned more dates in the future, including one on Valentine’s Day, where she agreed to come to my place for dinner.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Hockey Mom

Not every person I’ve met has been a one-and-done. I had rather good luck in the early days of Match (“good luck” in a relative sense, you know, compared to most of the other dates I’ve had). Hockey Mom and I started chatting as both of our divorces were being finalized. It was clear there was mutual interest, but neither one of us wanted to taint the beginning of our relationship with the end of our divorces. So we practiced delayed gratification until both of our divorces were final.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Covey Insights (v.1)

Covey Insights (v.1)

A blog called Zen Habits once interviewed Stephen Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and the interview is worth a few minutes of your day. I will be touching on some of the insights here on this blog, and connecting them to life in our 50s, especially life as a divorced and dating middle-ager.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Meet Kristin Armstrong, Spiritual Shaman

Here's my background check. I'm 42, single mom, divorced for 10 years. I have had my fill of dating, let's just say it like it is, who wants to be seen naked for the first time in middle age? Thank God for dimmers and failing eyesight after 40, just saying.



Kristin Armstrong.

Just allowing her name to pass through my mind brings me a measure of peace.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Pavlov's Divorced Cousin

How many things in life can one input generate the same output 99.999% of the time?

Computer code comes to mind.

But when it comes to human behavior, I believe there is more variability than Pavlov got from his now-famous canine. We are surprised every day by our kids, co-workers, bosses, teammates. Humans are unpredictable, and I say this with a behavorialist mindset.

I may have found an exception, and a totally fail-safe one at that.