Friday, December 5, 2014
In 1995 there was no texting. There may have been email. But my Ex and I never emailed each other while we were dating. The chemistry was all in-person or on the phone. Texting is another beast altogether. As a writer, I don’t mind texting. I like email better because it’s easier to compose my thoughts. But there is nothing inherently wrong with texting.
You combine texting with online dating, however, and, boys and girls, let me just say, look out. My first introduction to the perils of texting was with a woman named Suzy. I had been a member of Match.com for about a month. This was Suzy’s first day. She favorited me immediately. Suzy had short, dark hair, a beautiful smile, and a female body that had benefited from divine blessing. I was smitten.
The problem was I was in the early stages of seeing someone else (I’ll explain the one-person rule in a later post). I told Suzy this in hopes that she would voluntarily back off and move on. She didn’t. She kept emailing. And then I would respond. The messages kept getting longer and more intense. She, too, was a writer. Soon we turned to texting.
And I thought the emails were intense.
Over the course of the next 5 days we must have exchanged 1000 text messages, each one more intense than the last, and not one of them had to do with sex. We never even professed our love or anything close. No naked pics were sent. We were simply sharing thoughts and life stories. Suzy told me that I already knew her better than most of the men she’d ever dated, even if they were all combined. She thanked me for letting her communicate with “her truest words.”
It was almost as if someone had taken a USB cord and plugged one end into her brain and the other end into mine.
Finally, we couldn’t take it anymore and scheduled a date. A big date. Fancy restaurant, fancy part of town, where fancy people go. We met. She told me I looked just like my online pictures, and then we proceeded to talk for five hours over dinner and wine. Bet you know how this story ends, huh?
Well, you’d be wrong.
After the date, Suzy sent me an email saying she was going to keep dating other people. Why? It seems the biggest reason was she felt we’d never “achieve the same heights in person that we did in messaging.” And that was that. Case closed. End of story.
Done. Or maybe One-and-Done.
There will be more about Suzy and texting, and more about the One-and-Done Syndrome. This post was just an introduction, a tease. I have to start somewhere with each story, and each story must come to an end. There is no way my story with Suzy would have ended this way 10, 20, or 30 years ago. But it is rather common place today.
Hence this blog.
I can’t make sense of it.
Maybe you can help.