Thursday, December 18, 2014

I’m Sorry (v.1)

A few posts back I introduced you to Hockey Mom.  No friends or family have ever met anyone I’ve dated post-divorce, including Hockey Mom. However, just about everyone I know was in love with her. They still ask me about her to this day. I guess it was clear she was cool and we liked each other.

But like about every other online date, it ended in, well, to be polite, mysterious circumstances. I knew she felt bad about how it ended. But there wasn’t much I could do about it. I mean, after all, it was her decision. I’m a nice guy. Just not one that is going to make things easier on the person dumping me. So in response to her 12 paragraph Dear John email, I responded with, "take care."

Anyway, it being the holidays and all, I thought maybe it was time to let her off the hook. I decided to say hello, and wish her a happy holiday season. And that’s what I did. Her response was fairly interesting. She told me how considerate and thoughtful I was, and then apologized for how she had treated me.


I find this really interesting.

In fact, I think this pretty much captures a common thread shared by most of the stories I tell.

Dating today is F’d up. Totally, 100% messed up.

I’ve spent the last 9 months convincing myself that it’s all normal. . . the new normal. I don’t try to fight the endings. What’s the point? Hell, my Ex didn’t even want to try therapy after 19 years of marriage and two kids. There was nothing I or anyone else could do or say to change her mind. Just let her make her decision and go about my business. It is what it is. Right?

Part of me disagrees, and vehemently so. Part of me simply doesn’t understand the mysterious endings, but desperately needs to. Part of me wants to ask these women, “Do you realize what we just shared over the past week, month, or longer? And you are simply gonna walk away? WTF?”

Of course, I never say this. Mostly what I say is either good luck, goodbye, or nothing at all. Yet Hockey Mom’s apology seems to demonstrate that not only is dating messed up, these women understand their role in things being messed up.

WTF, indeed.

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