Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Dating Stories from the Other Side

High 5 Select Basketball Shorts Home/Away Colors

Dating Stories from the Other Side

So far all of the stories I’ve shared with you have been my own.  Interesting dates I’ve been on, and interesting “relationships” I’ve been in. During most of these dates, there comes a time where we play a game of one-upsmanship, with each person trying to outdo the other in telling a story about their worst dating experiences.

I usually win these battles.

Occasionally, however, I’m surprised at how bad some of the other men have been.


I’m out on a date with Jane.  First I tell my story about GiGi, and her thinking I was five-feet tall.

“Is that all you got?”

“Well, then there was Lisa.”

So I tell the story about the woman who asked me to go exclusive at 10:30 on a Wednesday morning, and by 6 o’clock she had mistakenly sent me an email telling me I was hot and she wanted to meet soon, only later realizing she had sent the email to the wrong person.

“Not bad,” Jane said. “But I can do better.”

“I’m listening.”

“Date #2. Guy invites me over and cooks dinner. After the meal, we sit on the couch for a bit, and he asks if I mind if he changes clothes. I told him that was fine. He goes into his bedroom, and returns in some kind of soft, meshy basketball shorts. He then walks over to the couch where I’m sitting, and proceeds to mount me as if I were the boy and he was the girl, straddling me with one leg on each side. He immediately gets down to business and starts kissing me. Soon the kissing stops and I see why he changed into the mesh shorts. Not unlike a dog, he starts dry-humping my leg. After about two minutes, there is a little splatter of white stuff pooling on my jeans.”

“Do you mind if I get a towel?” Jane asked her date.

This must have startled him because he sat straight up, and sheepishly responded “I guess I got a little carried away.”

Not to mention being dangerous for a women to be alone with someone she doesn’t know as early as a date #2, this could have gone much worse than it did. The stain washed out of the jeans, and Jane returned home otherwise no worse for the wear, so to speak.

That said, this is the second time I’ve heard a dating story about mesh basketball shorts.

I own a lot of these. Typically I wear them to run in.

If I hear enough of these stories, I may have start looking for something else to run in. I don’t want any prospects turned off at the gym.

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