Monday, December 15, 2014

Depends on Your Definition of "Exclusive"

Today we tell the story of Lisa.

This might be better than the story of GiGi. I met Lisa on Match, I have no idea who reached out to whom first. But in no time, we decided to meet. The setting was an outdoor lunch. Lisa had spent part of her youth in the south, and had a soft southern accent. She also had soft hands. I learned this when she reached across the table, placed my hand in hers, and started pawing at me like Cat Woman. Oh my. Talk about a jolt to me inner 18-year-old.

By the end of date #1, it was clear that there would be a date #2, and we went out into the parking lot to say goodbye. Lisa was even more aggressive than Jane. You will recall Jane said goodbye by inviting me over to her car and planting one, then two, and finally a third passionate kiss on my lips.


This was nothing compared to Lisa, only Lisa was taking matters into her own hands in broad daylight. At least Jane was getting down to business in the dark. Oh well, I figured. Making out in the middle of a restaurant parking lot where everyone can watch -- this must be the new normal for a newly single man approaching 50.

The passion continued between Lisa and I for two more dates. After date number 3, Lisa asked me if I wanted to go exclusive. I'm sure many of you are screaming "no, no, Lex. Don't do it. No one goes exclusive after three dates!!!" But I did. And let me explain why.

Back in the Jim Morrison Days, I dated whomever, whenever, and rarely made commitments to anyone. I'm too old for that now. I'm happy with just one partner. More than one gets too confusing . . . and expensive. So when I told Lisa that I would be happy to be exclusive, it  really just meant I was interested in spending more time with her, which would have been true had we decided to go exclusive or not.

We decided to go exclusive at 10 a.m. in the morning on a work day. I remember because she asked me to show her how to hide her profile on Match. After work, I hit the gym. As I was preparing to change into my running clothes, I get a text from Lisa. She's in a panic about something, perhaps an email or something she wrote. I told her I'd talk to her after my run.

By the time I'd finished my run, Lisa had sent me 20 more emails and 20 more texts. I figured I ought to try and see what was going on. I scrolled down to the first email and opened it. This is what Lisa wrote:

I think you are hot! Normally I don't do this, but I'm going to give you my personal email. Don't respond on Match. Hott!!!!!! Lisa

Hmm. Clearly this email wasn't written to me. I already knew Lisa liked me, and I already had her personal email. The other 19 emails and 20 texts were messages from Lisa trying to convince me that she did in fact intend the email for me.

OK, I said. Let's assume, for the sake of argument, you are telling the truth. Can you tell me why you gave me your personal email when I already had it and we'd been emailing for two weeks?

"Are we going to keep talking about this or move on?"


And that was that.

Come to find out from a subsequent Match date that this is common practice. A woman tries to "lock you down" but keeps playing the field herself in case something better comes along.

Ah, no further explanation required.

She's reliving the Jim Morrison Days.

:  )

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