Nature Girl

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A few posts ago I introduced you to the wonderful world of Zoosk via my date with the lovey Rita. That makes a total of 2 dates over 6 months. Add in one more conversation with a third member and you have the sum total of all my interactions on that web site.

And it's not a free site.

Huh?

Yeah, I don't get it either.

But I do have a theory.

My First Date

Not every person I’ve met has been a one-and-done. I had rather good luck in the early days of Match (“good luck” in a relative sense, you know, compared to most of the other dates I’ve had). Hockey Mom and I started chatting as both of our divorces were being finalized. It was clear there was mutual interest, but neither one of us wanted to taint the beginning of our relationship with the end of our divorces. So we practiced delayed gratification until both of our divorces were final.

One-and-Done

I was a philosophy minor in college, with a history-political science double major. Then I went to law school. I did well. Why? I’m a theoretical kind of guy. So while I enjoy sharing my dating war stories, I will revert to my former self on occasion and poke fun at this thing we call dating.

Today I direct my attention at what I’ll call the One-and-Done Syndrome.

What is this malady, you ask?

Texting

In 1995 there was no texting. There may have been email. But my Ex and I never emailed each other while we were dating. The chemistry was all in-person or on the phone. Texting is another beast altogether. As a writer, I don’t mind texting. I like email better because it’s easier to compose my thoughts. But there is nothing inherently wrong with texting.

Before Divorce, There was Marriage

I can’t really write a blog and expect to develop a readership unless my readers are at least somewhat acquainted with my back story. As a vice presidential candidate once asked, Who am I? Why am I here?

Stories have to start somewhere, and this one we’ll pick up in the middle. I met Sabina, my Ex, at a nursing home. My dad was terminally ill with cancer. She was his nurse. My sister tells me the night after I first met Sabina, I called my sister and told her I was going to marry our dad’s nurse. She laughed. “Sure you are, Lex, Your 30-years-old, never married, never even close, and how many women have you dated?”

Mea culpa. My sister was right. Me settle down? Never.

But I did.

With Sabina.

Introductions are In Order

Hello.

My name is Lex.

I’m a writer. It’s in my blood. I’ve been writing for the better part of 40 years. In college, I wrote 50 papers. In law school, where writing courses are rare, I wrote 25 more. I also managed to hold down a weekly column at both schools where I wrote about . . .  whatever. As a professional, I moonlighted as a freelance writer for 15 years. It’s just something I do.

It’s who I am.

But I must confess, I’ve never had so much to write about as I have in the last 9 months. You see, I’m newly single. Yup. The D-word. Divorced. Almost 50 years-old and divorced. I like “newly single” better, and will try to go with that when I can. Sometimes I will fail and sometimes “divorced” works better, especially when I’m writing about something that’s F’d up.

For anyone who is newly single and roughly my age, I think we can all agree on one thing. Dating is not the same game it was when we were 17, 21, 24, or even 30. It’s not even the same sport. The game has changed. The rules have changed, and, well, it’s hard to play any game if you don’t understand the rules. I’m learning. It’s a process. But I’m learning.