Thursday, March 5, 2015

Is Online Dating Really this Bad?

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Is Online Dating Really this Bad?

 Being on a first date is like holding in a giant fart for four hours, the fart being your REA L personality, your REAL desires, your vices, your flaws. The second it’s over, I feel like I can finally breathe again. My metaphorical stomach practically hits the floor in relief.

This is so true, and yet at the same time doesn't do justice to the experience.

Let me explain.

When you are middle-aged, newly single, and been on a few dates, you understand the drill. It doesn’t matter how well you hit it off before you meet. It doesn’t matter how much one of you may be attracted to the other. It doesn’t even matter if the date seemed to go well. In short, nothing really matters because chances are that after you meet, it will soon be over and within a week or so you’ll never see or hear from this person again. 

Typically there is no explanation for the one-and-done "relationships," and, even when there is an explanation, it is usually a poor one, perhaps made-up, a fabrication to cover up the real reason, which could be 1) the person is not ready to date; 2) the person wants to keep dating in search of the mythical perfect mate (think unicorn); 3) you violated some code of conduct never articulated by your date; 4) you revealed some disturbing fact about yourself ( have young kids and your date is an empty nester).

After a while, you just realize what a downer trying to meet people has become. You respond by decreasing the number of people you interact with online. Next you start hiding your profile so no one else can contact you. Last, but not least, you realize that your life without online dating leaves you happier and more satisfied than life with the series of downers whom you met, entertained, and paid for their meals. You find that the money you were spending on dating can now be spent on activities and things that bring with them a higher and more predictable Return on Investment (ROI).

So to say that one is merely relieved when a date is over doesn’t go far enough.

What is even more true is how elated you find yourself when you quit online dating altogether.

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