Is Online Dating
Really this Bad?
Being on a first date is like holding in a
giant fart for four hours, the fart being your REA L personality, your REAL
desires, your vices, your flaws. The second it’s over, I feel like I can
finally breathe again. My metaphorical stomach practically hits the floor in
relief.
This is so true, and yet at the same time doesn't do justice
to the experience.
Let me explain.
When you are middle-aged, newly single, and been on a
few dates, you understand the drill. It doesn’t matter how well you hit it off
before you meet. It doesn’t matter how much one of you may be attracted to the
other. It doesn’t even matter if the date seemed to go well. In short, nothing
really matters because chances are that after you meet, it will soon be over
and within a week or so you’ll never see or hear from this person again.
Typically there is no explanation for the one-and-done "relationships,"
and, even when there is an explanation, it is usually a poor one, perhaps made-up, a
fabrication to cover up the real reason, which could be 1) the person is not
ready to date; 2) the person wants to keep dating in search of the
mythical perfect mate (think unicorn); 3) you violated some code of conduct never articulated by your
date; 4) you revealed some disturbing fact about yourself (e.g.you have young
kids and your date is an empty nester).
After a while, you just realize what a downer trying to
meet people has become. You respond by decreasing the number of people you interact
with online. Next you start hiding your profile so no one else can contact
you. Last, but not least, you realize that your life without online
dating leaves you happier and more satisfied than life with the series of
downers whom you met, entertained, and paid for their meals. You find that the money you were spending
on dating can now be spent on activities and things that bring with them a
higher and more predictable Return on Investment (ROI).
So to say that one is merely relieved when a date is over
doesn’t go far enough.
What is even more true is how elated you find yourself when
you quit online dating altogether.
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