I Need to Meet this Woman
In comparison with the passionate men I’d been dating, my husband was positively boring. There was no drama in his life. But he also turned out to be the most interesting, handsome, talented and funny man I ever dated. He is my rock! So glad I had the intelligence to not write him off after one date.
A woman sticking up for stable men . . . and the same woman criticizing those that kick their dates to the curb after one date. Wow. I have to meet this woman. Oh wait, she’s already married. OK. But still, there are woman like this out there.
And more women need to think about what she is saying.
For those of us who are middle-aged, single, and been dating for a while, very few now look at a first date as a big opportunity to flirt and strut our stuff. We’ve all been married. We’ve got kids. We are fully grown adults who’ve been around the “dating block” enough times to know it ain’t pretty, and dating someone, getting to know them, is a process that takes time, a minimum of several dates. We have lives that we are largely satisfied with. The only question on date one should be whether this other person sitting across from you has any promise, and, if so, you go out with them again and see if that promise starts to bear fruit. Ditto for date two.
If you have a long list of deal-breakers, see if there is a way you can shorten it. In fact, instead of bringing your list of deal breakers on the first date, why not draft a new list. This list might have two columns. On the left side of the page jot down a list of “nice to have” qualities you mate should possess. On the other side, include a list of the “must have” qualities. At the end of your date, count how many check marks your date has, and then decide if there are enough of them, consider giving the poor guy or girl a second look to see if you discover more.
Looking for positives to build a foundation instead of negatives to break something off.